Gay/Bi/Queer Fathers
Writing Ideas for the Father Visiblity Project
Writing Ideas
If you are looking for ideas on how to focus your story to submit to the FatherVisibility Project <http://fira.ca/news-release.php?id=17> here are a few to consider.
We are looking for stories that cover a range of experiences from differing viewpoints. Dads, granddads and prospective dads come from many different backgrounds, circumstances, identities, and experiences. Consider sharing your insights, challenges and joys based on any of these. Readers may be isolated and thankful to connect with a story about someone like them.
For this project, we are gay, bisexual, queer, transsexual, and/or transgendered (GBQT).
We come from different ethno/cultural backgrounds, spiritualities, economic or employment backgrounds, ages, regions of Canada, or are a newcomer to Canada…
We become parents and grandparents in different ways, through opposite-sex partnerships/marriages, step-parenting relationships, adoption, foster parenting, co-parenting, and surrogacy…
We have different family configurations, whether we are still with the person with whom we had our children, are separated or divorced, are on good terms with our ex's or not, are lone/single parents, are parenting with a romantic partner or partners, or are creating families and sharing parenting with non-romantic partners…
We also have children and grandchildren with a variety of abilities, talents, challenges and needs.
Different readers of our stories may be looking for answers to specific questions that are relevant to their particular journey. See if there are any questions below that inspire you.
How would you answer the questions below for readers who are GBQT fathers
contemplating coming out to their partners and family?
- What motivated you to become a parent?
- What motivated you to come out?
- How did you deal with your fear of losing your
family, friends, children, job, or community?
- How did you take care of your own stress and/or
ambivalence?
- How did coming out affect your feelings about
yourself?
- How did you come out to important people in your
life (e.g. children, partner…) and how did it work out?
- What resources helped you in your personal
journey of contemplating coming out?
- From your experience, what recommendations for contemplating coming out do you have? What would you have done differently (if anything)?
How would you answer the questions below for readers who are GBQT fathers who have come out to their partners and family?
- What motivated you to become a parent?
- What motivated you to come out?
- How did you choose when to come out?
- If you are still co-habiting with the other
parent of your child/children, what is your arrangement and how did you
come to it?
- How "out" were you to others at this time? In what order did you come out to people? To what degree did you come out?
- Did you affirm your sexual desires or gender
identity along with your identity as a father? If so, how?
- Describe the lasting impact of your coming out
on your relationship with your children.
Which people supported your parenting relationship? Who did not support your parenting
relationship? What did you learn
from this?
- How did the legal system treat you?
- How did childcare and school staff treat you?
- What resources helped you?
- What would have been helpful?
- What recommendations do you have?
How would you answer the questions below for readers who are who are out as GBQT and contemplating becoming parents?
- What motivated you to become a parent?
- How has being GBQT had an impact on your
consideration of becoming a parent?
- What options for creating your family are you
considering and why?
- What steps are you taking on this journey?
- What resources are helping you in making decisions
about becoming a parent?
- What has not been helpful or is missing?
- What recommendations do you have?
- Describe how you created your family / became a
parent (e.g. became a partner with someone who had children, pursued a
form of adoption/fostering/co-parenting/surrogacy).
- What motivated you to become a parent?
- How did that process go for you?
- How were/are you treated by various people (e.g. your family, health care providers, fertility clinics, childcare services, school staff, etc.)?
- What has becoming and being a parent who is GBQT
meant to you? What has been the
impact on your primary relationships?
What has been the impact on your relationships with children?
- What resources have helped or are helping you in
your journey?
- What has not been helpful or is missing?
- What recommendations do you have?
How would you answer the questions below for readers who are children of
GBQT men?
- Based on your experience, what do you feel kids
of GBQT fathers need to know?
- From your experience, what helped your kids feel
loved, supported, and not isolated?
What helped your kids to sort out what they were experiencing?
- What resources would you recommend for kids?
How would you answer the questions below for readers who are family
members, friends, neighbours, or co-workers?
- Have family members, friends, neighbours and
co-workers supported you and your kids?
Describe your experience.
- Based on your fears, concerns and experiences,
what do you want family members, friends, neighbours and co-workers to
know to support you and your kids?
- What resources do you recommend for family
members, friends, neighbours and co-workers to build their understanding
of your family, life, and choices?
How would you answer the questions below for readers who work in related
services, agencies, professions, (e.g. healthcare providers, fertility service
providers, adoption agencies/workers, school/daycare staff, lawyers,
politicians, judges, clergy, etc.)?
- Describe how key people in these positions have
made an impact on your family or family creation journey?
- What do any of these providers need to know to
respect, support and celebrate you and your kids?
- What resources would help these providers become
better educated?
How would you answer the questions below for fathers who
are not GBQT and people advocating for fathers' issues?
- What common ground and differences do you see
between GBQT fathers and prospective fathers, and non-GBQT fathers?
- What do gay/bi/queer/trans dads have to offer
other fathers?
- What do gay/bi/queer/trans dads have to offer
groups and services advocating for fathers' issues?
- What do non-GBQT fathers and fathering advocates
have to offer dads and prospective dads who are gay, bisexual, queer,
and/or trans?
- What else do fathers who are not GBTQ and
fathering advocates need to know to be supportive of GBQT fathers and
prospective fathers?
